DC Playwrights

“scrambled eggs with brains,”
squirrel tells the waitress.
“you might want to get something else,”
i suggest.
“those are squirrel brains, you know.
and besides, i thought squirrels
were vegetarians.”

“but i like brains.
i find them attractive in squirrels,”
he explains.

“you might get jacob-creutzfeldt disease.”
“what’s that?” he asks.
“mad cow,” i tell him.
“just order the mediterranean omelet.”

squirrel calls the waitress over
and asks if the eggs contain squirrel brains.
“i’m jacob schmirnoff-intolerant,” he explains.

“me too,” winks the waitress
and brings the squirrel french toast
and her phone number.